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Showing posts from April, 2018

Taking One For The Team

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So my gastro - entronologist (professionally known as a Butt Doctor because no one, including myself, can spell worth a gastroentronologist's occupation) vanished. Like a fart in the wind. (More of these puns are coming.) I had to go see a NEW butt doctor, who told me my OLD doctor was doing all the wrong butt stuff. I was taking the right medication, "but" he said, (multiple times with varying numbers of the letter T) I might be taking it through the incorrect entry point. I accept and acknowledge that there are people who would not be upset to hear this information, but, uh, I was. Horrified? No, I've eaten Brooke's She-Crab Soup, so it's not THAT bad. But upset? That's fair. the doctor said he was going to give me enemas to do myself for a month. That's about the third most horrible thing you can hear from a doctor. I think it goes 1.) Mortal Disease 2.) Amputation 3.) Insert this capsule/squeezy bottle of liquid into your bumhole.  Yes. His name, a