Holiday Sugar Trafficking


Friday December 9th, 2011

    You know what's great about the Holidays? It's the time when everyone everywhere gets really into sugar - You may not realize how seriously people take their sugar, but man, it's like the SAT's, neuroscience, the debt crisis, the Superbowl, and the DMV all rolled into one delicious treat!

     But confections aren't the only place you'll find sugar cane.  Tea becomes hot chocolate. Bread becomes muffin. Chris Cringle becomes a chocolate statue.  There are gingerbread cookies, sugar cookies, and peppermint in everything, including the inevitable peppermint Windex.

     And it isn't just the consuming of sugar - it's the hiding of it!  Coins with chocolate inside.  Santa's made of cocoa.  We stuff them into socks, stockings, and shoes all over the globe!  In some cases, I have even seen people with miniature houses that contain as many as TWENTY FIVE rooms, each concealing a hit of the sweet stuff.  At Halloween, you just put the candy out for people to eat, but during the winter holidays, you stash that stuff in lamps, under seat cushions, in attic cellars, probably even closets.  I honestly wouldn't be surprised to find a box of holiday chocolates stashed behind a box of Peppermint Twinkies* and candy canes.  We hide or bushels of chocolate like a grade schooler with a bad report card.  It's stashed everywhere.  I don't blame anyone, though.  I myself have, at one time or another, enjoyed a good shoe chocolate. 

     But that's just a taste. Those by-products can't compare with the actual GIFT chocolates - high end designer stuff with more cocoa, made fresh by some master chocolatier with a cool white mushroom hat!  Thick slabs of fudge!  Street popcorn (which may or may not include cheddar or caramel impurities) is a popular treat, as are gingerbread men - which combines the deliciousness of a cookie with holiday flavoring, softer textures and cupcake-grade icing.  It's a veritable holiday MOAB**.

   In ANY case, we have for you this morning the usual delightful treats, plus a new and improved muffin flavor - RED VELVET.  This elevates the muffin from out of the muffin realm and into the 'small cake' realm. 

Enjoy everyone!

*They have to exist - if not here then in some alternate dimension.  If they have Shrek Twinkies, there must be peppermint.
**Mother of all Baked-Goods

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