Donuts!


Friday, August 12th, 2011

Thinking on it, I'm pretty sure the dust in the Ark of the Covenant - the dust that was so powerful it literally caused men's faces to melt off - was ancient donuts.  You'll also notice that the super laser on the Death Star is shaped like a donut.  And, in case you were wondering, I'm pretty sure the Large Haydron Collider, the most powerful piece of scientific equipment known to man, was designed based on the  mighty donut.* 

Such are their power.

I recently went on a Caribbean cruise to the Bahamas.**  Bless the waitstaff onboard that ole' tanker - they tried to serve us a proper breakfast, but there were no donuts to be had.  Just small, roundish objects with some form of diesel flavored glaze and a dab of what I imagined to be raspberry jam on top. Those aren't real donuts.  That's why I had to come back... for real donuts.

Donuts glisten like the morning dew in the early summer. Donuts smell of cake and childhood fun.  Donuts are shaped like the modern torrid shaped model of the engine that drives our galaxy.  That's right, folks!  The object that makes our ENTIRE GALAXY SPIN*** is, essentially, a chocolate, chocolate glazed donut - also known as a Quantum Singularity, or black hole.

There are donuts in every kitchen in the office!  There are literally DOZENS OF DOZENS.  There are donuts for all.  There will be donuts for some time yet today!

Enjoy everyone!****

*It's so powerful, it can detect today the answer to experiments conducted tomorrow!  The future is yesterday!
**Disappointingly, Captain Jack Sparrow did not stumble across the island. Probably because there were no donuts on it.
***Contrary to popular belief, it isn't alcohol. That just makes the room spin.
****Donut responsibly

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