Massive Doughnamics
Friday, July 13th, 2012
You know, last week I was driving into work listening to 'Remix to Ignition' and thinking about how the song, reputedly 'Fresh out the kitchen' was about donuts when the unthinkable happened - my donut delivery vehicle failed - my very own Friday the 13th Nightmare (though thankfully a week early. Who knows what would have happened if this had occurred TODAY!)
This of course, got me to thinking about why technology fails. Why don't big, major technology companies solve problems, like faulty tires, bad lawnmowers, and printers (not anything specific, just printers in general. FIX THEM!) So we here at the Advanced Research And Development wing, lovingly referred to as 'Massive Doughnamics' have started thinking about a solution.
Those awesome lights? The Donut shaped ones scattered around the office? Donut transporters. You heard me. Those ring shaped lights, not unlike the electric car plugins, are forward-thinking areas for donut distribution. Think about it. They're in the kitchens, the lobbies, anywhere you might expect to find a donut.
Unfortunately, the speed of crazy ideas is vastly, vastly more expeditious than the speed of plausible ideas. As such, these technologies have not yet been perfected. So far, they only transport light rays (which way a bit less than a donut) directly to your kitchen table. In the meantime, we'll be left to muse on why the donut in my car tire failed, and why said car tire donut isn't filled with life saving Bavarian cream, which at the very least would make you feel 25% happier when it bursts! If sparkplugs dispersed sprinkles, it'd be a great day, indeed. Also, I'd probably eat breakfast in my car more often.
ENJOY THE DONUTS!
J. Christopher Scott
Research and Doughvelepment Coordinator
Massive Doughnamics
You know, last week I was driving into work listening to 'Remix to Ignition' and thinking about how the song, reputedly 'Fresh out the kitchen' was about donuts when the unthinkable happened - my donut delivery vehicle failed - my very own Friday the 13th Nightmare (though thankfully a week early. Who knows what would have happened if this had occurred TODAY!)
This of course, got me to thinking about why technology fails. Why don't big, major technology companies solve problems, like faulty tires, bad lawnmowers, and printers (not anything specific, just printers in general. FIX THEM!) So we here at the Advanced Research And Development wing, lovingly referred to as 'Massive Doughnamics' have started thinking about a solution.
Those awesome lights? The Donut shaped ones scattered around the office? Donut transporters. You heard me. Those ring shaped lights, not unlike the electric car plugins, are forward-thinking areas for donut distribution. Think about it. They're in the kitchens, the lobbies, anywhere you might expect to find a donut.
Unfortunately, the speed of crazy ideas is vastly, vastly more expeditious than the speed of plausible ideas. As such, these technologies have not yet been perfected. So far, they only transport light rays (which way a bit less than a donut) directly to your kitchen table. In the meantime, we'll be left to muse on why the donut in my car tire failed, and why said car tire donut isn't filled with life saving Bavarian cream, which at the very least would make you feel 25% happier when it bursts! If sparkplugs dispersed sprinkles, it'd be a great day, indeed. Also, I'd probably eat breakfast in my car more often.
ENJOY THE DONUTS!
J. Christopher Scott
Research and Doughvelepment Coordinator
Massive Doughnamics
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