Maximum Dough-verdrive


Friday, January 6th, 2011

WELCOME TO TRADITION!

   This place is GREAT!  There's donut shaped lighting!  Have you had cereal yet?  There are windows! There's a huge green field I'm pretty sure was designed just for frolicking! Ample parking!  A full size, fully functional movie theater!  An airplane wing desk!  Cool faucets!

Probably the most important addition is what I call the E.B.D.U. As I'm sure you've easily guessed, that stands for the Emergency Breakfast Dispersion Unit, which grants the user one free cereal per twist!  In other words, in the event of a catastrophic donut failure, the eb-due can be used to provide either a nutritious, functional breakfast OR a sugary explosion - your choice.  Choose wisely, padawans.  I've seen Chex, Lucky Charms, Honey Bunches of Oats, and Cheerios* of several varieties, Frosted Flakes, and others I am too excited to remember!

   In truth, there are a lot of awesome new things - but some of the old things you love will remain - including donuts.  Yes, those donut lights will glisten down upon those shining pools of glaze - which have been placed in the employee kitchen area near the employee entrance!

   'But Chris,' they exclaim, 'what about our good friends in tradition station?  Will no one remember them?'  To which I replied 'I doughn't forget my friends!'  I'll be heading over there dough-mentarily** to drop a small supply!'  Whoever said 'out of sight, out of mind' clearly didn't go three weeks without donuts, because I've been thinking about them on a nearly semi-constant basis!

   In any case, an extra special thanks to EVERYONE who helped out during the move - these guys put in a lot of long, long hours and lifted a lot of unpleasantly heavy furniture for your benefit! So if you see someone who moved stuff, slap him on the back and offer him your best hurrah - because nothing you see here could have been taken care of without those brave men and women, who gave of their holiday to give you some structure and security!

  So raise your donut in celebration!  Enjoy your time here - enjoy the new dining, the cool office, the E.B.D.U.

*unsweetened mini-donuts
**It's been a while.  The puns have been building up.  Seriously I have a backlog.

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