U.F.DOUGH


Friday, May 11th, 2012

Yes, to answer your question.  Donuts* were created to honor our saucer flying friends from out of town. The shape should be obvious, resembling both the disk in which they fly (minus the pilot, of course, because that would be ridiculous to eat) AND the portal through which they traveled to our dimension.  That's why this week, we have star shaped donuts with star shaped sprinkles, to remind us of our alien friends' homes among the stars**.

They are, in fact, limited edition MEN IN BLACK donuts, which I'm sure you realized as soon as you saw the six black SUV's that surrounded my car, pulled me over, and loaded my car with delicious limited edition star shaped donuts.  Like what aliens would do, except with SUV's.  I may or may not be an agent of this department's F.I.E.L.D. department (as you'll recall, this is Food Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division).  You'll notice I don't wear a black suit into the office every day.  This may or may not be done with the possible intention of possibly concealing my actual job researching how to differentiate between excellently made UFO visual effects and actual UFO's recorded on cameras.  And donuts actually attract some forms of aliens, it's like music to their ears.***

It may also be that the donuts have been placed here to weed out potential alien infiltrators.  Anyone not eating donuts? Clearly a species of alien with a genetic delicious-intolerance.  Eating lots of donuts?  Species needs additional frostings in their diets to survive.  Eating just the right amount of donuts?  Cleverly trying to blend in.
I don't know.  Anybody could be an alien.  All I know for certain is that I'm not one.  Probably.

ENJOY!

*They're out of this world?
**No, Not Justin Beiber. Different kind of stars
**Twinkle Twinkle little glazed, donuts leave me quite amazed

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Star Wars Celebration Orlando 2017, or What It's Like When a Nerd Takes Acid

Image
I went to Star Wars Celebration, and I feel the need to tell you about it and provide you with an honest, clear review of this event. You have been warned. Firstly, are you a fan of Star Wars ? I don't mean "Yes, I saw some of those. They were good." I'm not referring to the people who have seen each and every single film, some more than once. I'm not even talking to people who have a plush taun-taun, or that 'one really rad shirt from the first film in Japanese.' If you are one of these people, congratulations, you are well adjusted, have a strong appreciation for a culturally significant movie, and probably go to therapy for other reasons. Also, if you're a casual fan and live nearby, sure, give it a shot, maybe take a day trip to check some stuff out. If you wake up every morning in Star Wars sheets and eat Kellogg's C-3PO's  from a vintage 1997 Special Edition Re-Release Box with a light up lightsaber spork, DO I H
Read more

TESLA REVIEW PART II: THE ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Image
PART I: THE BASICS Now we're on to the ACTUAL REVIEW! What's it like to drive a Tesla, for the average joe? I'm not a man who drives a BMW 3 series, or a Mercedes, or an Audi. Or a Lexus. Or an Acura. I don't have the latest Mazda 6 series. I have a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD Honda Accord. I imagine a large number of Tesla drivers will be coming from a similar experience - so I want to share what it's like moving from a car to an electric-powered rocket with wheels, airbags, and the most advanced cupholders I've ever seen. Here's the car. It's smaller than I thought, has no power, and I can't get the trunk open. A model Model 3. If I paid it to wear clothes, It would be a model model Model 3. As for the ACTUAL car: First, you gotta get INTO the thing. You walk up to it with cellphone in pocket, push in on a block bit which pops the handle out, pull the handle, and climb in. So far, I've noticed that this works 95% of the time. 5% of the time
Read more

Spanish for Donut

I'm BACK!  After several weeks of long, long hours at a fun, but unfortunately short term position, I have returned to my roots! Unfortunately, I can't tell you where I was working, not because of the project I was working on - because the position I had (special kind of Production Assistant based around intellectual property security). I CAN tell you that it was in Miami. And I learned some things there.  Something important and breakfast related.  Churros. Those are delicious. It's like a single donut stick - a Mexican donut-saber.  It's an oddly long and amazingly delicious treat. Churros are served hot - the outside is awesomely crispy, covered in a stardust-type sprinkle of cinnamon and sugar, and the inside is a melty, doughy blend of amazing deliciousness. You should go get one of these right now, for two reasons.  Firstly, because based on their addictive nature, I have to at least guess that somewhere in that cinnamon sugar mix is crystal meth or some other
Read more